Dilated to 4? Are you kidding?

Yeah, I am kidding. Yesterday was my next to the last appointment with Dr. Depew. Because I felt pretty nasty on Christmas and have been experiencing more frequent contractions, I got the bonus of not only peeing on my hand but being checked again this week. He felt, ha, ha there might be something going on up there that should be probed. The nurse handed me the sheet and off they went to disturb some other poor woman.

I sat on the table for 20 minutes reading about Nicole Ritchie's baby. Ah, how sweet. I bet she has a nanny. I glanced at the article about Angelina and how svelte she is, even after recently giving birth to twins. Yeah, I hate her. I bet her nanny actually gave birth to the twins. I checked the book reviews and saw one about a grieving mom that lost her baby close to her due date. Uh, yeah, where is a Popular Mechanics when you need one?

Pretty soon, everyone is back for the cervix checking party. It doesn't really hurt it is just the thought of having an arm that is attached to someone you don't know that well, stuffed WAAAAYYYY up there in the regional vicinity of your baby.

He looks at me, rather forlornly, and adds there are no changes. Well, maybe . this much. Do you see that period? That is about all I am. My cervix is locked up tighter than Ft. Knox. He does mention that the little girl's head is RIGHTTHERE, like I haven't felt her trying to get out before. It is clear, to me, at least, that she has some kind of plans with someone, shopping date or something, that she is getting ready for. The truth is, am I ready?