Hmmm, 0 days left

Yes, we are done with tickers, countdowns and all of that other business. I sit here, at 208 am and ponder the day's events. I am snacking and drinking, something in that in a few short hours, I have to cease in order to have an empty stomach for my C section. It's ok, I am going to be nervous and busy finishing everything up, so food will probably be the last thing on my mind. I am nervous, as I said. Surgery is no fun. Having your 4 year old freak out because they are wheeling you away, is no fun. Having someone stick a needle in your back, is no fun. Having someone slice open your stomach, is, once again, no fun. Waiting to see if your baby is ok, is no fun, and yet it is continuously on my mind. There are so many emotions, good and bad, that are surfacing right at this moment. How can I do this again? How can I make sure that I can spend time with the family, take care of the new baby and take care of myself, all while getting a bit of sleep each day? I don't know the answers yet, but hopefully will reach some kind of point where I can juggle everything. There are people that do it, of course, some have 4 kids, some have 18, but every mom is different. Sure, we can receive alot of encouragement but sometimes, sadly, it isn't enough and the feelings of dread become overwhelming. This is where I sit, right now. Hoping and praying that I can do what is right for everyone, without losing myself.


Jen said...

You will do great! The first few months is harder with two (three for you). It will get better. Take a deep breath! Hugs MAMA! We are here if you need us!!