Some things I have learned since 13 January

Some random things I have learned since having Ivy Paige.

Male doctors don't know shit about the pain of having your tubes tied.

I was clearly a cow in a former life.

The leaking may eventually stop but until then milk is on my shoes, on the floor, on my pillow, on the walls.

Women don't generally get diarrhea after childbirth.

Explosive diarrhea, when you can barely walk to the bathroom isn't a good thing.

Once the diarrhea is over, you get massively constipated.

Constipation, when you can barely walk to the bathroom isn't a better thing.

Hospital sanitary pads are so big but don't stay in your fancy mesh underwear.

This isn't mesh underwear that your husband would find the least bit sexy.

Drugs "are" good.

There are alot more good shows on tv when you are taking Morphine, Percoset and Motrin.

Your eyes don't necessarily have to be looking in the same direction.

Hospital food has gotten some better.

Blue eyeshadow is considered acceptable for nurses.

People think hospital rooms are great for parties.

It isn't fun to sleep on a plastic covered bed.

Taking a shower when there are 6 drops of water and the shower head is 3 feet off the ground is not particularly refreshing.

Anyone can come into your hospital room and ask to see your incision, and you have to comply.

The resident can dismiss you 12 minutes after birth, but the "real" doctor calls the dismissal shots.

Pregnancy is a wonderful, miraculous thing. A baby is a true gift from God.


Kimble-Wood said...

While some of those life lessons are not the most fun to learn, I know the end product was worth it. I can't wait to see you and meet Ivy.